Catching up

So, things have been kinda hectic getting home. I've only had time to check everyone else's pages, my email, and my bank account. Where do I begin?

our trip went well. michael didn't get as much done on my parents' house as he had hoped, but they were okay with that and he accepted it. so, ya know. we got to hang out and visit with them and also with some other family and friends. it was fun. we checked into our hotel on friday, then left to go to the reds game. it was fun. i had a really good time. i think mostly b/c todd and michael were in love with it and acted like two little guys going for the first time. todd caught a foul ball (there's dispute over whether it was really michael's or not. ha!) kassidy spent her first night away from both parents. it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. michael couldn't sleep, so neither of us slept, me being the light sleeper that i am. we were very happy to see her the next morning. we ended up spending the whole day napping and swimming. she had a lot of fun and even got daring in the pool. she enjoyed playing on the steps where mommy didn't have to hold her. that night we visited the vineyard w/carol. we really liked it. it was hard to concentrate fully though. we kept kassidy b/c it was a new, big, place and i just wanted her to stay w/us, but that meant trying to keep her semi quiet and entertained. very hard to do. but, we managed and went out to eat after church. we ate a bravo's (thanks lena and justin) and really enjoyed the food. and the company. kassidy has her first crush, todd shuck, of all people! it's very cute and funny, carol has competition. michael and i went to cold stone for desert. mmmmm yummy! i don't know what it is about their ice cream, but it has a totally different texture that i love! we went back to the hotel, slept through the night, and kassidy woke up early. i got her some milk and let her sit in bed with us. she fell back asleep on my pillow. it was so cute! she then slept through us getting ready to leave and packing. i could not believe she slept there for so long. i managed to miss getting a picture, sorry. we left at 8:15 or so to take sarah, my cousin to the airport. since we were going that way, we decided to leave earlier and save justin the trip. plus, it gave us time with sarah. very nice.

well, we got back, all of us crashed and took a nap. i decided to wait to clean up our mess until monday. so we just rested and watched movies and stuff. monday, kassidy went to poppie and nana's so mommy could clean whole heartedly. i got a lot accomplished and i didn't feel badly for neglecting kassidy. michael started football practice that night. it went well. he's so happy about it and excited. we heard back from our bid and to make a long story short, the price went up on the house. they do not know what they are doing and have no help from a realtor. we put another bid in at the asking price and they have until friday to accept or decline. i got really bummed at first, but then michael happened upon another house that sounds really good as well. and now, after much prayer, crying, and talking i'm totally cool with whatever house god gives us. i don't think i'd be cool about no house, but i don't feel that's what he wants for us. so, i'll not presume worries where they have no place. but, just keep praying for my strength and my heart to not waiver. i truly desire to be patient and let god work this all out. i know he'll do a better job than us, it's just hard.

okay, tuesday i went massive grocery shopping. took several hours and $200, yikes. i hadn't been real grocery shopping in like a month. i was going to go and then realized we were leaving in a day for cincy, so we just made do with what we had, which wasn't much. wednesday i baked and cooked and felt normal again. i really enjoy providing my family and myself with homemade meals. i made fried rice last night and it turned out pretty good. i can't wait for lunch to eat the leftovers. i've been doing well with eating healthy since getting back. i'm just trying to simply make a healthier choice each time i choose to eat and not eat as often. i feel more like myself. i came to a realization at my parents one day last week. i've been so irritable and bummed out and i couldn't figure out why. well, i was reading an article in a magazine my mom saved me and it was about self-esteem. this lady's esteem changed when she discovered she liked this one body part, like her calf muscle. whenever she got bummed, she'd look at that muscle and feel better about liking one part. well, i realized that i didn't have even one thing anymore that i liked. usually, i like my hair or my face. but recently, my face has been going balistic and my hair isn't the right color or length right now. my roots need a dye and i'm letting my hair grow, so it's all in between. i decided to take things one at a time. the next day i called donette and ordered mary kay. i had tried to find other products, but nothing worked. my face simply likes marykay. however, they've discontinued two of my products, so who knows what'll happen when this runs out. hopefully they have something else my face will like. in less than a week i can already see and feel the difference in my complection. i love marykay! then, i started just picking a healthier choice each time. i know cold stone isn't healthy, but i only get it a couple times a year and it's ice cream! i'm working on getting an appointment to get my hair done. i got all healthy food at the grocery and made a fat-free, low sugar zucchini bread that works for a sweet and tastes really good. i know it's not about how you look. i'm not being superficial. it's just that i couldn't find one thing i liked about myself. i could still know i'm loved and precious to god, but i needed to love myself some, too. things are getting better. i'm changing what i can and accepting that some things, like weight, will take time. some things i just have to pray about and trust god with them, like my attitude and my heart. but overall, i'm beginning to like who i am again. it's been such a long time since i have. it's nice to meet myself again.

so one last thing, last night we all three met with the church in bardstown. i loved them. what really scared me was one thing. at bethlehem, we were the sole teachers, chaperones, etc. with the youth. we weren't ever fed, except in the service. last night, the piano player, (i forget her name) said that she would be happy to keep teaching the youth's sunday school. she realized that we needed to be fed as well. and there were several young families with young children who we should meet and be able to connect with. YES! my one prayer and hesitation was answered and the way i wanted it. they have big dreams. there is a big church just down the road and they realize they don't have as much to offer, so they do things together, with other churches, and such. it's such a blessing to not compete, but simply work together for a common goal. i mentioned being nervous about moving to a new town and not knowing anyone. and they were like, no, we'll invite you to things, take you out to dinner, etc. i'm so excited now. as far as officially having the job, we're having a dinner to meet everyone on the 30th, then they are voting on us the 7th (i think) and then michael's first day would be the 10th or the 14th. oh, this is so god. pastor mark started the meeting with telling us that michael had already ministered to his congregation. one parent was talking to him about how their son was struggling fitting in in school, but how he was on the football team. mark told her that they were talking to a football coach for the youth position. she said it wouldn't be a michael butler would it? he said yes. she said, oh, could we get him to be our youth minister, that would just be wonderful for my son! very excitedly. so, it just seems like god is really taking over and making things very clear for us. as we were leaving they were talking about a new counseling ministry/mentoring ministry they are starting. it sounds awesome. there are no christian counselors around here. the closest would be c-ville and that's 45min. to an hour away. it's so needed in churches. i think if we all did our part in mentoring, we might not need as many counselors. in titus it talks about how the older should teach the younger and we are so lacking that in society anymore. if the young men had older men to teach them, we might not need so many programs, counselors, ya know?

anyway, i love you all. i was encouraged to find out that more of you read then i though. you should comment some. it's not hard, i promise. but no pressure. love you anyways. chat soon. thanks for reading.