The lessons of munchins

So, I've had three childrens under the age of three running around my apartment the last two days. It's been fun and crazy all at the same time, as is being a parent. Being around more kids always makes me think, "Gee, I'm content with just my one Kassie-Doodle right now." Lori Rogers always says, "After spending time together I think, 'I could handle another one.' I'm sure it makes you want to stick with one." Life is just more crazy with two and I'm glad to have one. My life doesn't necessarily need more craziness right now. Although, I'll follow God and if He says, "One more." Of course I'll go with it, probably questioning it though, I have to admit.

So the thing I wanted to write about today/night is not apologizing for doing the correct thing. I had a mini revelation today as I attempted to lay Kassidy down for the third time for the same nap. It was that I'm always telling her 'I'm sorry' when I decide that she doesn't need or shouldn't do something. For instance, when I take a pen away when she writing on herself or other things. Or when she shouldn't shut the bedroom door, because she could (and has) pinch her fingers in it. Today, it was that she was beyond tired and needed rest and sleep for a short period of time so she would be able to function throughout the remainder of the afternoon and evening. (without losing a limb, or toys, or her temper.) My nerves were raw, but I've decided that she won't see me lose it in front of her. Mostly because I know that then she'd see that she 'won' and Mommy wasn't in control. Mommy in control is what she does need to feel safe, secure, etc. Back to the sleep thing. . .I was about to say that, "I'm sorry that Mommy can't rock you as long as you want, but Mommy needs a break and you need to sleep." When it hit me, why am I apologizing to my 16 month old for knowing what she needs and enforcing it? She doesn't know what's best for her and I do. I'm the one in charge of her needs until she can take care of herself. I'm the one accountable to God for how I raise my child. She has no responsibilty except to obey. If I apologize it's like I'm doing something wrong, and I'm not! It was very freeing. I didn't say I was sorry, instead I said, "Kassidy, Mommy knows what's best for you and right now, it's for you to sleep. I love you. I'm not coming back in, you'll just have to cry it out until you fall asleep. I'm not mad at you and this is not punishment; it's simply what is best for you. I'm doing what's best for you." (okay, not those exact words, but something like it.) I gave her one more kiss and left the room telling her, "I love you." She continued to cry for another 45 min. before finally falling asleep. At that, she only napped for 45 min. before being awakened by other children, but that's okay, because she slept!

Tonight it hit me how often we apologize for the truth of God's word. I find that I'm not apologizing for it, but b/c of the pain it may cause. However, through the pain, we grow. God never intended for it to hurt, but sin entered in and now, it hurts. However, it's not my fault that God's truth may or may not hurt. I should never not share the truth b/c I'm afraid of the pain. I should share God's word unapologetically - just like I should implement the best for Kassidy unapologetically. God's word is the best. It's out of love that we share. At least it should be. Just like in the instance w/Kassidy, I should never discipline out of anger or b/c I simply can. It should be done out of love at all times. I should have control over my emotions, b/c I'm the adult. As a parent, I see God in a whole new light. I really enjoy it, actually. I know how hard it is to be a good, Godly parent. I can't imagine how hard it would be to be God. YIKES! I'm glad I'm not.

Well, enough of my parenting lesson/revelation. I hope you can take away some of my learnings and apply to your life. Either with your walk w/Christ or some advice for parenting. (Not that I'm the best, I just try really hard to be the Mommy that I see God calls all moms to be. I want to share b/c so many are hurting b/c they think, "I'm the only one. . ." That's a lie straight from satan himself. We all goof up. Let's try talking about those things that scare us, so that satan has nothing to hold onto us with. James says, ". . . to confess your sin one to another that you may be healed. . ." That's so the truth. Obviously. But why aren't we doing that? Why do we hide or just not tell those things that seem 'indecent' or 'sinful'? I'm so tired of games. I can't keep up with what I tell who. I'll just tell it all - good or bad. I'm forgiven and that's what really counts, right?

Well, again, enough. I'll close b/c I'm exhausted and need to get on to bed before I sleep right here. I love y'all and hope that you see the value in being transparent with those who can handle it and teaching those that can't, how to by doing. I challenge you join in unapologetically living out James 5:16 and giving satan no place to have a hold on your life.

to bed i go. . . . .