am I forgotten, yet?

so, i know it's been a long time. things have been absoulutely crazy. we're all busy all the time. i'm thrilled to be in school so i can do what i've determined i'm supposed to do in life as a career, but at the same time, i feel completely swamped. kassidy is doing very well in school. we have a teacher's conference at the end of this month. i'm looking forward to it, partly b/c i check in most of the time and know what her teachers will have to say. michael is busy with teaching his behavior challenged students and attending more master's classes two nights a week. football will be over maybe tonight, so no more friday night games! i haven't been to one this whole season. but i do miss him those nights.

so, the prompting that spurred this entry into being.......i miss the friendships i once had. as a group, the original new bethel group were very close. as i am involved in churches here, i am shocked at how distant the youth are with each other. i was truly blessed with the people i had in my life. the friendships cultivated and the protection offered. how did we manage it?.........i'm feeling left out. i love the show "friends." it takes me back to those times, even though they are the age i am now. today i don't have any of those type of relationships. i think, because of proximity. i want to go back. to claw my way back into people's lives and have those bonds again. even if i could, they wouldn't be the same. everyone else changes along with me. time goes on. i want to apologize to those that i've neglected over the years. i simply couldn't do it all. i wasn't prepared for life. i wouldn't change anything about my life, but i do want to apologize for lost connections. every person reading this is incredibly special to me. i think of you often. i hate that there's no way to be here and there at the same time. my new prayer is that i'll be able to keep in touch better, but also that the people right here, right now, i can get that close with. i'm not severing relationships, but i think i have to move on. i have to get past the past. a lot of y'all have and look at the newer people you've met and i've met b/c of that. thank you all for still loving me. thank you for letting me go yet keeping me in your hearts. i'll forever keep you in mine.